I mean come on
the whole movie is gold
It’s just one pun after another
The movie is completely random and it’s amazing
someone find the shit hitting the fan gif.
"PUTANA DA SEATBELTZ"
my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
People are already getting excited about Halloween and by people I mean me
“A three second exposure meant that subjects had to stand very still to avoid being blurred, and holding a smile for that period was tricky. As a result, we have a tendency to see our Victorian ancestors as even more formal and stern than they might have been.”
I’ve reblogged this before and I will reblog it again.
This is so great
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”